I started by outlining the different parts of my story. I used a blue pen to identify the problems I had with it, then used a green pen to offer possible solutions.
In the beginning on the narrative (1-2), Manon is denoted in the post-apocalyptic Paris, standing on Pont de l'Archevêché. In my storyboard, it written for this to trigger a flashback of Manon being given a bracelet from her sister, Alecia. I think this may be confusing for the audience. Instead I think it would make more sense to show the two sisters in the same location. Instead of sharing bracelets, they will place a padlock on the fence of 'Love lock bridge'. This is to show their bond as sisters, whilst giving the audience an insight to the location. After sharing a happy moment, I could introduce the antagonists, the military forces, rather than waiting until later on in the story.
The second act of the story (3-5) originally showed Manon travelling through Paris, which eventually triggers another flashback. This flashback was of Manon and Alecia on a train, when militants come to attack, leading to them being separated. I would still like to use this scene, but towards the conclusion of the film. Instead the second act will show Manon and Alecia's bond and they protect one another during the war.
Finally in the third act (6), I'd written that Manon and Alecia would somehow be reunited. However this was quite unrealistic. Instead, I will show the scene on the train, then flash forward again to show how Manon is upset and alone. I still think that I can develop this ending to have more of an impact.
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